It’s a New Year, and I’m suposed to have a happy one. That’s what I’ve been hearing since yesterday. I’m going to try to do just that, but it’s going to be hard.
Currently I’m sitting on a hotel bed in St. Louis making small talk with my roommate. In 12 hours I’ll be awake again to go to MEPS for my final processing, and then I’ll be on a plane to San Antonio Texas. From there, I’ll be absent from the rest of the world for 8 1/2 weeks.
Basic Training. It’ll be hell, it’ll be hard, it’ll be scary, it’ll be challenging. But it will be the beginning of the rest of my life.
As I’m sitting here with literally my entire future looming ahead of me, I’m somewhat terrified. Some distant voice in my head is screaming that this isn’t happening, that I’m just going to go home tomorrow and hug my cats and go back to work and it’ll all have been a dream.
But I know that’s not true. Tomorrow I’ll lose my freedom, my friends, my family, my past, my free will, and every privelege I’ve taken forgranted of for the past 18 years. But I’ll also gain strength- both physical and mental, the knowledge to survive, to protect, to defend, to be resiliant, and to succeed.
This morning I woke up and it became a day of lasts. The last time i’d sleep in my bed, the last time i’d walk out the door with my dog, the last time i’d see my belongings, the last time i’d hug my friends and family. Everything was as if the world was ending. Because honestly, my world did end. But then it started over again on a whole new plane. I’m about to do the most difficult thing I’ll probably do in my life, and it’s going to measure just how strong and determined I am.
I can’t fail this.
I won’t fail this.
So tonight I’m going to go eat dinner with my fellow recruit whom I traveled here with, and I’ll hang out with my fellow comrades as we await tomorrow anxiously. Then I’ll sleep my last night as a civillian, and face tomorrow wit the bravest face I’ve ever worn.
Tomorrow I start the rest of my life.
So with my final goodbyes said, my final hugs given, and my final tears shed- I bid the internet world goodbye from tomorrow until March.
For any friend that has read this, I love you more than you’ll ever know. For any stranger, thank you, and for anyone at all. I wish you a wonderful New Year full of excitment, change, happiness, laughter, and second chances.
Let’s be bad ass together.