Oh, New York

Oh, New York. You have been so good to me, so beautiful, so welcoming, and so intoxicating.


But my trip has come to an end- which is difficult to accept.  How am I supposed to get onto a plane with all my things and go back to a place that I know isn’t right for me? How do I leave my new found community, home, and friends? How do I take the leap back to my small town- knowing that within 2 weeks of returning I will be shipping off for the Air Force?

I don’t know. But I do know that I have to. So as I sit here on a few hours of sleep, mainly functioning on the high of last nights amazing night, I’m somehow smiling.

The stories I have to bring back with me are unreal. In this past week, I feel like I’ve lived a year. I’ve learn so much, seen so much, done so much, and felt so much. Every emotion on that spectrum- I’ve felt this week. And it’s been worth it.

Seeing my friends and making new ones? Check.

Volunteering with little kids, and to help save Coney Island? Check.

Giant makeout orgies? Check.

Burlesque shows? Check.

Spinning fire? Check.

Navigating the subways on my own? Check.

Drawing in a little cafe with a friend? Check.

Walking miles and miles of Manhattan alone? Check.

The list could go on, but I would definitely make it a mile long. This trip has taught me to laugh and cry for all the same reasons, to really live. Live in the moment, don’t worry about your future or tomorrow, or even an hour from now. Or you’re going to miss what’s happening right in front of your eyes. 

So thank you, New York, for being everything I wanted and more. I will return to you, and you will always captivate my heart in ways no person ever could. 

Until we meet again,



Journey To Luminous Wild

Here I am, sitting in the bus station of Harrisburg PA. How did I get here?

Well 3 delays and a route change later, that’s how.

This trip has been long, and tiring. But i just accept this as part of my journey. There’s a reason I turned up in Harrisburg, rather than Buffalo. There’s a reason i’m 4 hours delayed. Somehow, there’s a reason.

I’ve spent most of the trip in a state of dreamless sleep, the rocking of the bus as it rolled down the highway lulled me into a place that was neither sleeping completely, nor awake. I just existed. One of the many on the way to their final destination. One of the many on their journeys.


While delayed in Pittsburgh, i spoke with a woman in her 40’s as we desperatley charged our phones before they died on us completely. She was headed to New York City, alone, for the first time. She told me it was her first time traveling alone and she was a little scared. I smiled at her and told her she was in for a treat, because NYC was amazing, and that she’d be just fine alone. She smiled back and that stranger-you-can-trust relationship was established. We watched each others phones as we got information on our buses, then bid each other safe trips.

And such has been the flow of my trip. I awake this morning to lush rolling hills with fall colored trees. The sky was the bluest i’d ever seen it. It was beautiful, breathtaking, and just the sight I needed to see.


So when we pulled in to Harrisburg I got some coffee and put on some music until I was sufficiently awake, then slipped into the bathroom to change and wash my face.


There’s another hour left to my layover, then I’m on to Binghamton to meet my Wifey before we head to the retreat together.